January 9th, 2009
I typed rainbow chard into a search engine, and here is what I found:
Rainbow Chard, it seems is creating quite a buzz these days. Touted as “hip” and “in,” it has received a ranking as a “trendy veggie.” What exactly that means, I’m not sure. Have celebrities been sighted eating it? Are babies of jet-setters being named after it? Is it going to replace lettuce in salads? One can only guess. From what I can gather, in a world where green is the new black, rainbow is apparently the new green.
Searching further, I pulled up a site where a self-proclaimed “foodie” said she “adoooores” the stuff. While marveling over that, I happened on to a different site where someone declared that, given the choice to be any vegetable, they would choose to be Rainbow Chard. I left that thread in a jiffy. In my opinion, a site where people are pondering themselves as produce is just no place for a girl like me, farmer or not.
The next page I pulled up began with the quote, “Sweetie claims he doesn’t like chard.” It then went on to give a rather lengthy and detailed recipe featuring the lauded green. My hunch is that Sweetie’s dislike has less to do with the actual taste of chard and more to do with the fact that he is being referred to as “Sweetie” on something as widely read as the World Wide Web…that and the high probability that the Rainbow Chard recipe was most likely his dinner that night, like it or not. There was chard to be eaten, and Sweetie was the man for the job.
Where’s an “adooooring” foodie when you need one?
The first time I came across Rainbow Chard was while shopping at a farmer’s market. I was there handling all of the produce when I spotted an enormous bunch of the stuff. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I wanted it to be mine. I was going to do something with it, even if that something was putting it in a vase or wearing it in my hair. It reminded me of the green stuff sticking out of brown grocery bags next to French baguettes carried by beautiful actresses on movies. With that picture in mind, I proudly paraded through farmer’s market, displaying my prized finding like I had grown it from seed. I overheard someone say, “Look at that Rainbow Chard,” and I replied, “Yes!” Rainbow chard had made my acquaintance.
I took my Rainbow Chard home and fed it to my juicer, stems and all. Do you know how much greens it takes to make a glass of juice? My glass was full to the rim. It was a HUGE bunch of chard.
Unfortunately, the next scene stays embedded in my memory. I was standing at the kitchen sink, looking out the window with my glass of liquid chard. I drank the whole thing in one long drink, without even a breath. As far as I can tell, it never made it to my stomach. The direction switched all of a sudden and the chard was once again visible, this time in a steady green stream. My “in” green was coming back out!
Whoever said that too much of a good thing can be bad had most likely juiced way too much Rainbow Chard at some point in his or her life. After my experience, I concur.
At this point in time, I still don’t consume Rainbow Chard. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that I just…can’t. Not yet. And, in case you’re wondering, I still haven’t worn it in my hair, although that may be the trendiest thing I ever do. However, I am now growing it from seed. As it turns out, it’s as pretty as it is good for you, even when juiced. That’s assuming, of course, that it stays down.
Cheers to Rainbow Chard and a man called Sweetie.